They just laughed at me...

I had my 32 week appointment a couple of days early this week so that I could see if our "planned" trip to Colorado could be realized. 

Today was the first appointment during this pregnancy where they checked me for dilation.  The doctor from last week (there are 5 in the group) said he'd feel OK with me going to Colorado as long as I wasn't dilated at all.

I told the doctor today what the last one said and he just shook his head and told me they really don't want anyone with twins traveling past 30 weeks.  It's just too risky.  And I ended up being dilated 1cm anyway.  I guess that's 2 no's. 

Needless to say, I was quite disappointed that we won't be making our trip this weekend.  It was our last getaway before being house-ridden and finding myself topless for most hours in the day.  Yes, I'm going to attempt breastfeeding these twins--at the same time.  Not a lot of room for privacy or modesty there.

As I started to leave my appointment, I realized I hadn't scheduled my non-stress test for this week yet so I turned around to ask the doctor about them.  He said I'll be doing 2 NSTs a week until I deliver.  Basically, they hook me up to a couple of machines to monitor both babies' heart rates and monitoring me for contractions at the same time. 

One of the other doctors came out of his office at that point and asked, "How far along are you now?" and I told him almost 32 weeks.  Then my other doctor who examined me said, "Yeah, and she thinks she's going to Colorado this weekend!"  Then they both just laughed!  I laughed too and I wasn't offended by the apparent comedic nature of my desired vacation but the fact that they were actually laughing made me realize I shouldn't attempt it. 

I left my appointment feeling quite nervous about the fact that the babies may arrive at any time.  I've never made it past 2cm at a normal doctor's visit before going into labor.  Let's just hope I'll dilate slower this time around and that I'll be able to make it at least another 2 weeks (4 is much better...and 6 would be a dream!).

I talked to my wonderful mom this evening and informed her that we wouldn't be coming and might have vented my frustrations that I can't make my body keep these babies in and she gave a most wise response, "Honey, it's better to worry about things that we can control."  Enough said.

How about a little optimism?

Cats and dogs--I believe that's the phrase often used to describe large amounts of rain.  To give you an idea of just how much its been raining here, Jon asked me the other day, "So now do you think you'd like living in Seattle?"  My response was, "Well, in Seattle you'd expect rain.  This is Utah."

Things are certainly lush and green right now--a scene not so familiar in the Utah desert.  I'm used to the inevitable ugly brown color which eventually washes over the landscape in the warm months.

It's been hard to be stuck inside the last couple of weeks when just days earlier, the kids were out in the yard playing on the slip 'n slide and in our inflatable pool.  I decided I needed to be a little more positive about the rain since, well, I can't change a thing!

 Pros                                             Cons
1.  I'm not hot                           1.  The kids have trashed the house
2.  I'm not hot                           2.  It sure is depressing
3.  I'm not hot                           3.  I can't plant my garden yet
4.  I can still wear my                4.  Boredom has set in like thick fog
winter maternity clothes
5.  I'm not hot

How's that for glass half-full?

31 Weeks

I love it when people ask me if I'm due any day now.  No.  I'm not.  But it did become even more a reality today when I had my 31 week appointment with my doctor.  I didn't have an ultrasound this time.  He measured my belly and told me I was doing wonderfully!  That's always nice to hear and reassuring that things are going as they should.

I measured at 40 weeks today which is full term for a single baby.  No wonder I feel "cooked".  When I asked the doctor what I measured, he said, "Big...you're big."  I'm not sure if he was hesitant to make me really feel my actual girth but he hesitated to say the number of weeks.  I just laughed.  It was no surprise to me!  I know I'm larger now than ever because my stretch marks are having babies of their own!  One of these days I'll brave a bare belly photo just so you can admire the forest of veins and stretch marks that have overgrown my once smooth belly.  My belly button has literally been turned inside out.  There is no more room for it "give".

I went to my visit today with a number of questions.  Sometimes I ask the same question to multiple doctors just to see if they're on the same page or if I'll get a variation of the last person's answer.

1. I've been having strange cravings:  fabric softener, bleach, dishwasher detergent...really any cleaning product makes me drool.  I switch the laundry loads and have the urge to take a bite of the clothing.  I can see myself gnawing on a shirt or pair of shorts like a donkey.
1. Answer: You need more iron!  I asked if it was normal and he paused and smiled and said, "Well, not really, but it usually means your deficient in iron."  I assured him that I wouldn't give in to the craving.
2. How does my body know to keep these babies in any longer??
1. Answer:  It doesn't!  (Oh good, that really doesn't help my paranoia of pre-term labor.)
3. Can I go on a short road trip to Colorado next weekend?
1. Answer:  We'll start checking your cervix next week (WHAT?? Whoa!!!) and if you're closed, you can go, if you're dilating, we'd rather you stay here. (I knew they'd be checking me starting at 32 weeks but it really put things into perspective that these babies could arrive any day now.)
4. Are there doctors that aren't comfortable with breech deliveries?  
1. Answer: Everyone is comfortable with breech deliveries.  We are cautious about them but we're all capable of doing them.
5. When should the babies be in position (Vertex = head down)
1. Answer: Um, now! (Yay! Both babies are vertex!!)

So, I left my appointment feeling pretty happy but seriously nervous that I'm not going to make it as long as I hoped I would.  I asked the doctor at what point the babies would be able to go home with me and he said by 35 weeks and sometimes 34, babies are usually good to go home with mom.  This was very reassuring news for me.  I've been telling myself all along that I wanted to make it to 38 weeks.  This last month or so, I've been telling myself that I'd like to get to at least 36 weeks.  I guess what it really boils down to is that I want my babies to come home with me.  I'm still hoping for big babies (relatively) and shooting for at least 6 pounders, hopefully 7, but with how huge I am right now, I'm just not sure that's going to be a possibility.

Anyway, I leave you with my latest belly bump:

31 Weeks (measuring 40 weeks)

To Be A Mother

I've been thinking lately how strange it is that I almost have as many kids as my own mom has.  It's a weird feeling.  You can never truly appreciate what a mother or parent does until you have kids of your own.  I often ask my mom how she did it and she looks at me and says, "I don't know.  I think I've blocked it from my memory!"  Maybe it's the same thing that happens after you have a baby.  Eventually you forget the pain and misery and only remember holding that newborn baby in your arms.  Nature has a strange way of making you go through it all again!

I can't say enough good things about my mom.  She has truly been a rock in my life.  I always know I can go to her with my problems and she'll know just what to say to make it better.  I hope I can be like that for my kids.  She's my best friend (along with my sister and most of all, my Honey...I guess you could say my whole family are my best friends!). 

I think I have the greatest job in all the world.  I relish being a mommy.  My kids bring me more joy than anything else in life.  It's both trying and ever-so rewarding.  Each night after we put the kids to bed, Jon and I relate the day's experiences to each other and it's usually all to do with the kids and the funny things they said or did.  I'm happy to say that all frustration melts when I open their bedroom doors after they've fallen asleep and I see them lying there peacefully.  Sometimes I wish I could climb right in with them and snuggle them to my heart's content!

Motherhood is also wonderful because I get to be a mother with the best father around.  Jon is the best partner to have in raising my kids.  Sundays are a difficult day to provide any pampering but he gave it his best even when he was feeling miserable himself!!  He truly sacrifices so much for me and the kids.  I love him.

Last night, just before the kids got in bed, I got the best Mother's Day card ever made:

29 Weeks

I had another ultrasound today to monitor the growth of the little chicklets.  I have one more regular appointment in 2 weeks and then I'll be going weekly!  I can't believe I'm already to that point!

They doctor measures the circumference of their heads and bellies and then measures the length of their femur.  They were measuring just 2 days apart which is perfectly normal and could even be closer than that based on the tiniest error in measuring so, we're happy!  They each weigh about 3 lbs right now.  That means I have 6 lbs of baby in me already.  I feel it!

Baby A is head down (vertex) and Baby B was head up (but think she has since turned).  This could change still so I'm not really worried to much about positions at this point.  As long as they're head down by 32-34 weeks, we're go for natural labor!

I'm grateful things are going so well and can't wait to hold these little girls (but I can wait because I want them to double in size first)! 

The Weekend of all weekends

We had a very busy week this week with Jon's graduation from the BYU MBA program (hey-oh!!!), the Easter egg hunt, Easter, and spending time with family.  Jon had finals up until the day before he graduated so we really didn't get to breathe until Sunday afternoon when we ate Easter dinner with my family at Laura's house.

Jon's graduation was at 8am and he had to be there at 7am to line up with the rest of the graduates which left me with gathering the kids, toys, candy, movies, etc. to keep them busy during the long ceremony.  I parked as close as I could to the Marriott Center where the graduation was held but I still ended up carrying Sophie on my hip, dragging Jonah by one hand, and carrying two kid's backpacks, a diaper bag, and my camera in the other arm for about a half mile uphill.  I got many pitiful looks on the way up and even one lady cheered me on as if I were finishing a marathon.  That's kind of what it felt like, too!

The ceremony was beautiful and I cried the second I sat down long enough to look at all the people gathered.  My mom and dad drove all the way from Colorado the night before to be there for us and that meant the world to me. 

Thank goodness for snacks, candy, iPods, and grandparents to distract.  They really were very good though.

Jon's dad is a professor in the Humanities department at BYU and had his robes on from his alma mater on Saturday.

After the ceremony, we had a little family luncheon at our house and basked in the graduation glory and relief.

Saturday brought the annual neighborhood Easter egg hunt and the kids had a blast.  Jonah kept saying he wanted to get at least 60 eggs (the limit was 5).  You can imagine future soccer games in our family by the display at the hunt:  me screaming, "Go, Go!!  Faster!!  Look here, here!!" and then hurriedly ushering them back to the starting line where the first 3 kids to collect their 5 eggs one a solid chocolate bunny.  Sophie took third and Jonah took First in his age group.  I was so proud!! ;)  Jon said he always knew I was a pageant mom.

On Sunday, we packed up our homemade rolls and chocolate mousse and headed to Laura's for Easter dinner.  We dyed some eggs while the funeral potatoes finished cooking.  The kids lost interest in about 3 minutes but Jon and I enjoy dying them even more so we didn't mind.

My dear sister broke out her scissors and master hands and gave Sophie, Jonah and I new hairdos.  I'm forever in Laura's debt for the constant mullet prevention she does with my growing-out phase.  

Before

 

After (ADORABLE!)

Before

After (tough guy, I can hardly get him to smile anymore unless I say, "Boogers and Poop!!" before snapping the shot)

And at last, I had Jon take another belly shot this week.  I had my 27 week appointment on Friday and the girls sounded good.  They've been moving a ton and often keep mommy up at night or during attempted naps.  I'm measuring at 36 weeks so you can imagine my eagerness to be done (even though I still have 10 or 11 weeks left).  We went to the mall on Saturday and one little girl pulled her mom's sleeve and said, "Whoa!! Mom, look!!!"  Then one kid in primary said, "Wow! Sister Bush has a ball in her shirt!"  Yes, thank you, kids!  Honestly though, I didn't mind.  I think the same thing each time I look in the mirror.

27 Weeks with Twins

37 Weeks with Sophie

It really was the most wonderful weekend (sugar highs and crashes included).  And now a tribute to my awesome husband:  Jonathan worked so hard these past 2 years and even before his MBA to make sure he was doing the right thing and going to the right school and getting the best experience possible to support our family.  I watched him take on challenge after challenge and he morphed into an even more amazing husband and father than he already was.  I'm so proud to have him next to me and am overwhelmed by gratitude to our Heavenly Father who, no doubt, made miracles to get us through school.  Our parents and family are also indispensable in our success these last few years and we owe them big time!  I love you Jonathan!

Staying Busy

Every once in a while the Good Mom in me comes out and I try to do fun activities with my kids.  So often these past few months my kids have only had the company of the Crabby Mom.  Here are a few things we've been up to:

Bunny Ears!

This provided hours of fun for my kids.  We saw these on the Sprout channel and I thought they were so cute and decided I'd try to be patient enough to make them with my kids.  They hopped around for days afterwords, chasing each other and laughing (a welcome sound at any time).

Wrestling Daddy!

Poor Jon has been absolutely slammed with finals and projects and homework.  I'm sure he's wanted nothing more than to come home to his bed and sleep but being the amazing dad he is, he let's his kids climb all over him and wrestles with them for a good half while I finish up dinner.  I've been fairly fragile lately, keeping me from the more aggressive playing with my kids.  My belly is sensitive and in the way and my back feels like it's about to snap in half.  Luckily, I just purchased a maternity belt which should make these last few months a bit easier.

"Camping"!

I'm going to pretend it's the weather and my belly keeping us from a real camping trip (instead of the real reason I'm now terrified of camping with my kids).  This was a great way to ease the seemingly constant stressful atmosphere in our home and the kids had a blast!  The best part about it, besides the s'mores with dark chocolate, was the fact that we got to go inside, have baths, and sleep in our own beds!

25 Weeks

I've been going to the doctor every 2 weeks since I hit 20 weeks but still only have an ultrasound every 4 weeks.  I will never get over how wonderful it is to see these babies growing.  My summation of a twin pregnancy thus far is that it IS very different from a singleton.  The main differences are the size of my belly and the constant movement of the babies in separate parts of my belly.  I'm much more worn out at this point when usually I'm feeling fantastic at 25 weeks.  I'm getting very uncomfortable at night and have to get up at least 2 times to pee!  Jon's mom volunteered to buy me a maternity belt because she "doesn't want to see my belly dragging on the floor!"  That tells you just how pregnant I look. 

It is strange feeling "done" when I know I have three months to go.  I'm anxious to be more comfortable again but LOVE being pregnant simply for the miracle of it.  Plus, I'm not anxious for these girls to come out early.  I want to avoid the NICU at all costs and if that means being immobile for the last few weeks and so uncomfortable that I can't sleep at all, I'll do it!

This was our first ultrasound where we didn't get to take home any pictures but the girls looked beautiful and are growing wonderfully.  The doctor estimated Baby A to be 1lb 11oz and Baby B to be 1lb 10oz.  Can't ask for better growth in twins!

I forgot to ask Jon to take a belly shot so we'll have to settle with a self-portrait.  It doesn't exactly show the girth but it's what a see when I look down. ;)

25 Weeks

Hey look, it's Spring!

We had a few beautiful days last week to go to the park and play.  I took the camera along for one of them.

Cafe Rio for the poor

We've been watching our pennies lately which makes it difficult to spend money on going out to eat.  There's only so much you can do with chicken and rice and I even made Jon go get the propane refilled because I needed another way to cook and add flavor.  We grilled for 3 days straight and it was delicious.  It came time again to throw something else into the mix yesterday so I decided to throw some chicken in the crock pot with some green enchilada sauce that we happened to have on hand.  I added a few fresh garlic cloves, some cumin, and some red chili powder.  I shredded it about 2 hours before we ate and busied myself making the pico de gallo and guacamole.  I also whipped up some cilantro, lime rice.

Not only was it lovely to eat, it was lovely to look at!  It wasn't quite the same as Cafe Rio but it was a good loose interpretation of the real thing and was very satisfying!