My So-Called Life

Good morning and hello. This is officially my first entry on this radical web journal. I guess a brief introduction is in order. I work full time at a software support call center while finishing up my senior year at BYU. I have been married for nearly three weeks now. The culmination of these elements is basically "MY LIFE". Sad, you say. Well, really, there are aspects that I'm not too fond of but out of habit, I try to be the most optimistic I can. People say to be content with the now and a lot of times I find myself searching for something to look forward to because in my mind, that's the only thing that will keep me going. This is not to say that I am not happy with my life as it is right now. There great and exciting things about my life right now that I hope I will never have to give up. But, alas, I can't keep myself from anticipating the next big phase of my life. I started this phase about 4 years ago when I started my college career. Graduating high school was a key turning point in my life which I realize now more than I ever did. Forced to mature a little bit earlier than most, I spent the last 2 years of high school bonding with my teachers more than my peers and realizing that my family was really the most important thing I had possession of. I know I sound nerdy and maybe not so social but that's not the case (well, some might argue me to be a nerd...and sometimes I'd agree), I'm actually quite social once I'm familiar with the territory. Funny how that works, people are so reserved and sometimes mistaken, as I often am, for being a snot or unlikable, when finally you get to know the person and the first impression goes right out the window. I wish I could exclude myself from this group of pre-judging folk but I, ashamedly, must admit I do the same. Anyway, back from that tangent, I graduated high school triumphantly and soon embarked in a rather nauseating rollercoaster ride through college. I was told before I left that I would experience the greatest self-discovery during these years and although I believe I knew myself pretty well before, I have learned some of the most important lessons during these past few years. On the marriage note, this is the most exciting phase—to be a newlywed. I love my husband more than anything. It’s the kind of love the makes your stomach hurt because you’re sad to leave for work in the morning and you get an adrenaline rush every time you thing about seeing them at the end of the day. When talking about meeting your soul mate, I always wondered how people could say “You’ll just know”. It’s like that hindsight is always 20/20 thing. That was exactly the case. I didn’t know the feeling until I experienced it and it was most frightening but thrilling at the same time. To have met the person you are to spend eternity with…I guess there just really aren’t words in my vocabulary to describe it. Sounds cheesy, I know, but just wait until you get there. I realize this introduction is rather random and disorganized but that’s how my thoughts flow and that’s how I intend to put them on paper. So this is me…or at least an idea of me. So if you like it, keep reading. It’s rather liberating to know there is a small window to my inner most thoughts and people can see them.